Final Draft

I am proud to say that I never grew up as an IPad kid and got to enjoy playing in the yard with my cousins and friends after school. I never really became actively involved in social media until about middle school when Facebook became a big thing and even then I only really limited my virtual interactions to Skype and Discord to chat with friends while we played online video games. Once the development of other platforms such as Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok came around, I definitely saw an increase of my free time invested into reading the latest gossip and actively scrolling through posts of friends, family and influencers.

I have never done a social media “blackout” before but the closest experience I have had to it is just simply on days that I can only invest the freetime into catching up on sleep. Following this social media cleanse, I wonder if I will have a different outlook in life such as less negativity or if I will find no effect on my daily life at all.

On the first day it was not as difficult as I thought it would be to stay off of social media. I definitely took precautions by putting my most used social media apps into a separate folder and window on my phone so that I did not accidentally tap on them out of habit. 

Of all the recent apps that have been trending, most of the content that I post is on Instagram. I can sincerely state that I do not spend as much time contemplating my looks nevertheless editing them before posting on social media especially since it is rare enough for me to be on it due to my work and school schedule. However, I openly admit to taking multiple photos and only posting the ones that I like of myself and whomever else is in that photo with me. Despite this, I strongly believe that social media does not accurately represent who I really am and definitely falls short of depicting an idealized version of how I would like to be seen as well. A photo I recently posted was of myself in front of a wall of the Blue Bell ice cream factory. My arms were raised in the air, my legs were perfectly positioned to be more flattering to hide the wideness of my thighs and my smile that was not as crooked as the other photos that I had taken. People do not realize that when I had posted it that the photo was of months ago before work began to bulldoze through my social life or that it took relentless takes to find the not so bad one of the bunch. Several, even in the comments, claim they would like to go to quirky nice places like I have been but fail to realize how long ago these photos were taken and how my life is so very different now. 

I personally think that I use social media to remind myself of what life “could” be. When I see photos of influencers boasting their wealth on materialistic things or of friends and family traveling to nice places, it reminds me that with hard work I could one day be like them. I typically tend to post more positively on platforms because I would not want to showcase personal struggles whether due to privacy or because I do not want to ruin another person’s day by speaking of something bad. Additionally, in my opinion, those who post of their minor inconveniences are seeking attention and pity whereas those who post a more serious struggle, like of a lost one, would be to spread the word. In either case, I prefer to keep that type of information to myself. I like to use social media as a way to post for memory purposes which is why I shy away from platforms like Twitter which are typically more opinion based. I use Instagram and treat it like a photo album to mark significant memories of events. I think that I prefer it more than a physical photo album since it is digital and of course there is an actual album built for photos on our phones but, for the social sense I guess I like to share it with those who I may not see face-to-face on a daily basis (long distance friends and family).

I’ve concluded that being on social media has introduced a jealousy-like outlook upon others that I view from influencer’s pages or even friends and family. I don’t necessarily hold hatred or animosity towards it but a better comprehension would be a feeling of desire for things that others may have and a resulting jealousy that forms due to this lack of what they have but I don’t. 

In a societal sense, I definitely see a large gap between those who may have grown up playing outside and socially interacting with others in comparison to those who were raised as what we may consider “IPad babies”. A specific example would be between my younger brother and I. Though raised in the same household, I always opted to be out and about with my peers or family. Whenever technology was really introduced into my life (I’d say about 12 y/o), I could still balance the person-person interaction along with virtual while maintaining who I thought I was. In comparison, my brother, as soon as he could crawl, was presented with an IPad at his fingertips. He did not properly speak until he was 4 y/o and to this day struggles with social cues that I have always thought were supposed to be common sense. He shys away from social interaction and specifically prefers to communicate with friends virtually via the gaming platform Discord. He struggles with reading the room and empathizing with what others may feel when speaking face to face with others as well.

By the third day I felt like it was not as bad as it seemed. I have concluded that I am not as addicted to social media as I thought I was; however, it was definitely a coping mechanism for my anxiety. While waiting in line at stores or being present at a large social gathering, I found myself always reaching for my phone to escape the situation I was in. I have also analyzed my screen time in previous weeks to realize that I average about 30 minutes to an hour on social media apps and that most of my time was dedicated to the general messenger app which I use as my main source of communication. I definitely use social media platforms the least on busier days where I may have both work and school back to back because the thought of it escapes my mind when I have so many other things to do. By the time that I am done with the day, my only thought is to just lay in bed and drift to sleep.

It was not too hard to stay off social media over the course of the week. I unintentionally gave in around Saturday when my boyfriend sent me a link that ended up pulling up Tik Tok (he probably plotted against me since he knew I was refraining for the sake of this project). I had not realized that we only had to refrain from using social media only up until Friday. In situations where I usually look at my phone the most, I noticed I felt really awkward and almost too aware of my surroundings. On Friday, as I was standing in line to check-out my groceries, I felt really awkward as I waited my turn since I usually go on my phone during that time. I definitely missed being up to date with memes and trending jokes that I could share with my friends but besides that I realized that I didn’t really worry about what other people were doing in their lives and posting. Additionally, as previously mentioned, I did not feel as negative since I did not unintentionally have this feeling of want and desire for things and moments that others posted since I was focusing more on myself. I felt like I was still equally as productive as I usually am. Funny enough, when I got distracted or did not want to do my homework, I ended up cleaning around the house and organizing for no reason. During scenarios where things were as neat as can be I would find myself cooking or dancing around the room with my cat, Sock. I definitely see myself continuing this new habit by putting my phone on Do Not Disturb when I am studying or turning it off altogether; however, I think unless I can solidify this habit I will realistically fall back into checking my social media in between tasks nonchalantly.

Overall, I think that this blog made me very aware of how much time and dependence I have on social media although, I am glad to say that I was not as addicted as I thought I was initially was. I think I use it more as a way to pass time during awkward moments or to share content like memes to my friends and family. Besides this, I am very proud to say that I can still hold normal conversations with others without the need to always be on my phone and that I felt more positive throughout the course of this week.